This will never end.

Aesthetic Reflections 05.20.2012.

It’s been another long while.  Things are as hectic as ever, but at least things are getting done.  We just finished our IC event that we’ve been planning.  Hopefully people had a good time.  Getting all those people to come together and do one thing together was a lot harder than I expected to be.  It was a good thing, a lot of people came out, which made me really happy.  I didn’t expect such a big turn out.  It was crazy to just step back and see what we brought together.  Seeing everyone bonding and interviewing made me really happy.  

Unfortunately, not everything is going as well as they could be.  For some reason my laptop isn’t working anymore.  I’m freakin’ out.  I have pictures I still need to upload and print for the scrap book.  I tried to take lots of photos for everyone, but now they can’t even see them.  I didn’t even print out any for me.  I didn’t back up anything either, so I could lose all of the pictures I have on my laptop, which kills me inside.  So many memories and moments lost instantly.  And I have an essay due wednesday, and all my references and roughdrafts are on my laptop.  I’m really stressed.  

Today is the smtown concert.  I should be excited and ready to go, but there’s so many other things on my mind right now.  This is terrible.  I’ll try to make the best of it, but I really just hope my laptop can be okay.  

I’m behind on everything for pledging.  So many reqs I still have to complete.  It’s overwhelming.  But I’m doing my best to make the best of every moment because I know I’ll miss most of this when we cross.  Just pray for our pledge class, and pray that things get better for everyone.  Everyone else has a lot more crap they have to get through.  It’s crazy.  I just have this laptop problem, minor setback.  Let’s go.  Let’s do this.

A problem is that when things are going wrong, everything else just seems to make it worse.  It’s this weird thing about me.  If I’m sad, it feels like things just keep getting worse.  I’ll make it, I’m a hopeful person =) It’s just ironic, the things that tend to happen.  When I was feeling super down today, this song came on - “Pull Me In” by the Graduate.  It made me super nostalgic, such good memories.  It felt really strange, and I started missing a lot of things from the past.  

Well, let’s try to end on a more positive note.  Let’s talk about some more personal things.  I have this strange habit of seeing the best things in a person.  And I focus on all the good things I see.  And these traits and features draw me to a person, it makes me really happy.  This goes for all the close people in my life, something about them keeps me around you know?  And it’s even more true for those special interests in my life.  I’ve met some pretty amazing people, and even though I can’t have the type of relationship I want with certain individuals, I’ll do my best to make their bond with me worthwhile.  

It’s crazy looking back.  I’m still young.  I have a lot more to learn.  I growing with God and I’m growing as a person.  I think about certain people randomly, and most of the time it makes me happy.  It makes me happy because we’ve shared such good memories together.  Sometimes I wish we could go back, but I know that’s not how things work.  So I have to keep moving forward.  Who knows maybe someone will find something in me that draws them closer.  Maybe I’ve already found those people, and I need to work to create a better relationship with them, or maybe I need to come back home to the hearts of those who’ve always loved and kept this special bond with me.  Thank you God for every opportunity you’ve given.  For every special person you’ve placed in my life.  Now it’s my turn.  To savor all the blessings you’ve given me, and the spread the love I feel from You, to be your light for this world and love everyone else like You’ve loved me.  

Savor and Spread.

-jEdD

“I miss you now I loved you and I know things could still be worse…”

Aesthetic Reflections 05.12.2012.

Well, today was pretty interesting.  It cleared a lot of things up. 

Recently I’ve been thinking about the weirdest things, and I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt about someone.  Nothing super crazy was going on, but I thought I felt different vibes for a little bit, so I started being dumb and started over thinking things. 

But after today, it’s not the case.  I found out a lot about her, and It pretty much confirmed that I was incorrect.  We’re still chill.  And things can stay that way, so I’m still really happy.

still, I wonder how different things could be if I was more honest with myself, and more honest with her.

Nah, don’t need anything like this.  Just keep it cool, keep it real.  I like the way we are right now and I don’t want to ruin anything.

In other news, later today is PvA.  I’m hoping for good things to happen tomorrow.  Leggo PHI class!

~jEdD~

“If you’re feeling me now, then let me know from the start…”